Being Seen – how preverbal experience can affect a child’s behaviour

29th December 2023 – Bath & Wiltshire Parent Magazine

Jacqui Ellis from Deep Connexions explains how she helped a child struggling with sleep, emotions, anxiety and completing everyday tasks

Parents come to me because they are finding it difficult to understand why their child is struggling with sleep, their emotions and behaviour, balance and co-ordination, completing everyday tasks, learning new things or coping with new situations, as there seems to be no obvious explanation.

The reasons for such struggles may be related to unseen/unheard experiences from the child’s time in womb and during birth. Such early preverbal experiences may have left ‘imprints’ upon the child’s subconscious memory and thus immaturities within the child’s central nervous system that are still affecting how the child lives/copes in their life today.

For many of the families that I have worked with, the results have been transformative.

I recall a recent case of an eleven-year-old boy who was struggling with very low self-esteem, extremely anxious and finding making friends and new situations extremely difficult. Family life was punctuated with angry outbursts followed by guilt and shame, and school had become so unbearable that he was now being home schooled.

The analysis of his very early history revealed a difficult start to the pregnancy and the physical assessment showed a profile of retained baby reflexes, the continued presence of which can hinder a child achieving their true potential.

I recommended that the child start a daily movement programme of prescribed exercises designed to improve the physical maturity within an individual’s central nervous system, together with craniosacral therapy as necessary.

Early in the therapy programme, it came to light that one of the key issues holding him back was ‘visibility’ – how would he be perceived by others? This caused extreme anxiety and defiant anger every time he needed to go to a new place or environment.

I encouraged the family to play ‘visibility games’ where the lad would hide and mum could enthusiastically greet and tell him she loved him when he reappeared.

What was happening here?

Jacqui had encouraged the lad to repattern a very early imprint from around the time of ‘discovery’ – when mum had discovered she was pregnant. At that time, she did not feel ready for another baby and was really worried about how she would cope with two very young children. This had left the lad with an imprint of not feeling welcome which was recapitulating into every new situation he found himself in – how would he be received by others?  

This new awareness, together with completing the Developmental Movement Programme to integrate his retained reflexes means he is now able to happily engage in more activities and is gradually expanding his friendship group. Angry outbursts are also much less meaning family life is calmer.   

My work has resulted in feedback from families who say –

  • Family life is calmer – bedtimes/mealtimes/homework are easier;
  • Their child is happier and more contented having improved self-esteem;
  • Their child is more able to cope with change and transition;
  • Their child is now achieving more both academically and in sports;
  • They feel empowered to parent with greater clarity.

I see my clients at my Therapy Space in Chippenham, as well as arranging online appointments if they live further away.

How retained primitive reflexes can affect a child’s academic achievements

June 2024 – Bath & Wiltshire Parent Magazine

Jacqui Ellis from Deep Connexions discusses one of the reasons why your children might be struggling at school

So, it is that time of year where we are fast approaching the summer break and the end of another academic year. How you are feeling re your child’s progress…

Did you start this academic year full of new hope that this was a fresh start? Yet here you are:

  • Still feeling frazzled…
  • Still pulling your hair out…
  • Still dealing with the same issues/struggles…
  • Still having the same arguments over completing homework…
  • Still watching your child under achieve at school or on the sports field…
  • Behaviour is getting worse – there are more push backs and meltdowns or anxiety…….

Family life is tough as a result. Nothing is making sense and you feel like you are failing.

This was me in the playground at the end of Year 3 when the class teacher walked over to asked if I could help our daughter understand number bonds 1-20 over the summer holidays. What?! I was flabbergasted! This was a key learning objective that should have been solid at the end of Year 1!

I made it my focus to sit down with our daughter for 15 minutes every day during the first week of the holidays. I was a teaching assistant at the time so surely, I could get our daughter back on track?

The answer was no. She couldn’t remember what we had covered from one day to the next. I started to notice other gaps in her academic ability. It didn’t make sense because she could recall and talk avidly about so many things, but not this. Clearly something was not right. But what?  

We both became extremely frustrated and upset. We stopped. I would have to find another way, but how?

That was when I found out about retained primitive reflexes and how their continued presence can impact an individual’s ability to learn. We are all born with a set of reflexes that are necessary and designed to help us survive our first few months of life. By the time a child reaches their first birthday, most of these reflexes should have been matured and integrated.

However, for numerous reasons they can become ‘stuck’ and potentially interfere with all aspects of life. Research by The Institute for Neuro Physiological Psychology (INPP) suggests that a high proportion of underachieving children have such retained immaturities, and much has been documented with regards to abnormal reflexes playing a part in specific learning difficulties such as dyslexia, dyspraxia/DCD, ASD, hyperactivity and sensory disorders.

Learning and behaviour are products of how the brain and body work together. To read, a child needs to develop smooth eye movements, while writing demands that the eyes and hand work together. Indeed, all motor skills are linked in some way to the functioning of posture and balance. Any problems in these areas will undermine the individual’s ability to achieve in the classroom meaning their symptoms are not necessarily linked to intelligence.

So, what can be done?

The good news is that there is a drug free non-invasive solution available by means of a Reflex Stimulation and Integration Programme. Developed by INPP more than 45 years ago, this programme is designed to improve general physical maturity whilst enhancing individual academic performance.

A detailed diagnostic assessment will identify your child’s current reflex status and developmental level. A programme of simple and effective daily exercises is then prescribed which help re-educate the pathways between the brain and the body, creating a more secure foundation for all aspects of learning.

Progress is reviewed at six weekly intervals where the movement is adjusted accordingly.  A programme of this type can take 12-18months to complete and is supported throughout by other therapies such as Cranio Sacral and Integrative Baby Therapy.

All three of our children have completed this programme to great effect – our daughter went on to gain a first class honours degree in Occupational Therapy.

Having worked in this area for over 14 years, it is amazing to see my clients literally ‘grow into themselves’ and start achieving their true potential. They say it literally changes their lives!

To find out if Reflex Integration/a developmental movement programme could help your child, please contact Jacqui Ellis at Deep Connexions: info@deepconnexions.co.uk

The pebble in the pond – how birth memories can affect every day behaviours

The pebble in the pond – how birth memories can affect every day behaviours

11th January 2021 Bath & Wiltshire Parent Magazine

 
Holistic wellness professional, Jacqui Ellis, of Deep Connexions, discusses an example where a young boy’s behaviour could be traced back to trauma at his birth.

We all have one thing in common – we all have a birth story. The time from conception through to our first nine months of life can leave the most profound imprints upon us. These ‘maps’ of experiential residue can become stored in our body as somatic memories – physical patterns, energies, sensations and emotions that can become trapped within the body’s cells after experiencing an overwhelming or traumatic event – that can then influence and hinder the way we live our lives going forwards.

The above may mean you find yourself or witness your child struggling to complete everyday tasks; or overreacting to everyday situations – it just does not make sense. It is as if something gets triggered and you or your child get stuck in another time. This can also have a ripple effect on others in the energetic field. It is as if a pebble has been thrown into the pond.

As a holistic wellness professional trained in Biodynamic Cranio Sacral Therapy and Sound therapy and certified as a Reflex Integration/Neuro Developmental Practitioner, I focus on resolving early developmental trauma. Working with all ages, I empower my clients to make the connections that join up the dots, helping them to understand how their earliest experiences may be draining their life energy, preventing them from moving forward and achieving their potential.

I never really know what will happen in a therapy session. I just go with the flow and weave my knowledge through the process. My role is to create a safe, non-judgemental space for individuals to be visible, witnessed and acknowledged as they share their deepest wounds. It is this that facilitates deep transformational healing.

A few weeks ago, I was working with a Year 6 lad who finds the school environment difficult. He struggles to write and commit his thoughts to paper, to sit still and focus, becoming easily triggered and angry. He prefers to be up and about, active.

Part way through the Developmental Diagnostic Assessment, he had a huge reaction when tested for the Spinal Galant (a reflex that should be present at birth and transformed by approximately two to three months of age, the continued presence of which is associated with difficulty sitting still and paying attention). He immediately ran to the sofa, curled up into a ball and became extremely upset. He began shouting at his mother, saying it really hurt, asking her what she was doing to him and that it felt like she was ‘trying to kill him’! We were witnessing a very extreme reaction in the present moment.

Watching her son’s reaction triggered mum’s own body memory of trying to birth him and her own sense of overwhelm at the time. It had been a difficult experience which she had hidden away and bottled up for nearly ten years.

Working to hold space for them both, we tracked the sensations they felt in their bodies, enabling both to express and release old emotions and movement patterns that had been trapped for a long time. The session ended with the son curled in his mum’s lap holding her gaze… The mum later explained that this had been the very first time they had held each other’s gaze and connected in that way – a truly magical moment of attachment.

So, what had happened?

This child had presented back-to-back at birth – his spine against mum’s spine. The sensation of testing for the reflex on his lower back had triggered his somatic body memory of trying to birth; of feeling totally enclosed, trapped, terrified that he would not survive – how he had felt alone, frustrated and angry. No wonder it is difficult for him to sit still and focus!

He has now started the Developmental Movement Programme – a series of prescribed daily exercises designed to mature immaturities in the central nervous system. We will also continue to work with Cranio Sacral Therapy as the need arises too.